I used to love to read peoples blogs and see into others lives, especially young moms like me or girls who make crafts and quilts and sew pretty things.
I used to love the feeling I would get reading friend and families posts on Face Book and feel "Connected" to the ones I love whom I feel so far from.
I used to love seeing how many "Likes" I could get on my posts.
I used to love to Instantly share my pictures with my girls grandparents and cousins.
I used to love to get googly eyed over the pictures on Pinterest of all the lovely recipes and the quick makeup ideas. The lovely decorated homes and the quilts and DIY projects.
I LOVED these things so much that I installed them on my phone, right there day and night, to read before bed and to read when I wake up and all throughout the day. At any second I could be connected....or is it DISTRACTED?
Here's the TRUTH for ME:
I now know that those pictures are positioned in a certain way that they look absolutely gorgeous and breathtaking but in real life, if I was there in your kitchen it most definitely wouldn't look that way. I know this because I post only the BEST, the MOST ATTRACTIVE. If we stage a room and have a professional photographer to take a photo-its going to look great!!!! Is this what I'm teaching my girls? It has to LOOK perfect? YOU Have to look pefect girls, your clothes and food and house and body and hair and makeup and decorations?
I now know that SOME of these busy women are sewing and sewing and sewing and sewing. Gluing Gluing Gluing. Staying up late sewing, ignoring their kids, ignoring their husbands and spending so much money on all this stuff! I know, how do I know???? Been there!
I now know that opening Facebook only to see peoples boobs falling out of their shirts.complaints and horrible swearing isn't what I want to INVITE into my life day after day, neither is bragging. or Selfies or political opinions. Some of my friends and family wouldn't dare say those things to anyone's face in REAL LIFE......
So that's just it...it isn't real life.....
I'm on a journey to find my real self worth and to love myself so I can love my husband better and love my little girls. I want them to have confidence in themselves JUST AS THEY ARE. That's what I want for myself too. I go The Emily Program every week trying to overcome an eating disorder and childhood abuse that affects me to this day and to become my REAL TRUE AUTHENTIC self. This is MY journey.
I want to continue to document my sewing projects for myself and to see my progress. I love to make things for others and when I spend a long time on them and give them away I like having a photograph to remind MYSELF. I'll post those on SoILovetoSEW blog for MYSELF. and I'm not going to "POST" it on FB for hundreds to see. I'm not going to get all caught up in this stuff. It's consuming me. It may work for you but not for ME.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today I'm cleaning out my Facebook Friends and only keeping my Friends you know? I"m also going to UNSUBSCRIBE from posts from all those I mentioned above. I did this a few weeks ago and I have a way better time when I am on Facebook. Theres some more cleaning up I need to do...Also I'm going to strive not to be one who posts negative, critical, political, egotistical etc. stuff. I WILL post Religious stuff because I love Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and I believe they are the good and the happy in my life.
Today I'm cleaning up my Pinterest to things I think I may really actually like to make and do...I can't hold myself up to that standard...it's like thinking I can be Martha Stewart without her staff of 20 for each picture...and I"m going to delete Martha Stewart off of my following list on Pinterest..sheesh, what was I thinking?
Today I'm going to do things without having to post them on FACEBOOK
Today I"m going to do things for Spencer, Kate, Jess and ME!
Today I'm going to do things without expecting a pat on the back or a LIKE or a REPIN.
Today I'm going to stop reading blogs on purpose.
Today I'm going to start being more REAL and tell myself over and over and over that It's good enough, that I"M GOOD ENOUGH. It doesn't have to be perfect.
This is my declaration of Independence from PRETEND-ALTERED-NEGATIVE-EGOTISTICAL-UNREALISTIC.